Road Cycling · Public discussion

Wacked Out

Started by Calogero Carlucci · · Last activity · 2 posts · 453 views

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Road Cycling
Published
24 June 2006
Last activity
24 June 2006
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Calogero Carlucci
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  1. Dear [censored] Pound,

    For a while, people pretended they wanted freedom. But when the going got
    tough and they had to throw [censored] overboard to stay alive, it suddenly became
    clear to everybody that what they'd meant by freedom was really power.
    This awareness was at its peak in 1985, the year he entered Harvard despite
    bad grades, low SAT scores, no extracurricular activities, and a
    recommendation letter that said: "This person inhales and exhales, can stand
    up and sit down and walk in and out of doors. I have seen him eating on
    more than one occasion. I can only assume from this that he most likely
    defecates and urinates. Beyond that I can say nothing more about this
    student, even whether or not he sleeps.

    "He scores at chance levels on all tests, his papers appear to be random
    assemblages of words taken from the vocabulary of the topic at hand, as do
    his verbal 'contributions' in class.

    "As far as I can tell he appears to lack enthusiasm for any activity, enjoys
    nothing, shows no ambition, drive, or even desire to do or be or possess
    anything at all.

    "However, and despite not coming anywhere near any standard of popularity,
    for some unknown reason he's respected on some unfathomable level by his
    classmates, from the brightest to the dumbest, and is frequently elected to
    school councils even though he contributes nothing to them and does
    absolutely no work -- often, apparently, infecting the whole group with this
    attitude so that nothing ever gets done by any council he's on, or on any
    project he's involved with.

    "I can only predict, therefore, that upon admission to Harvard he would no
    doubt commence to do the same for you."

    He arrived in Cambridge, on full scholarship, in October, long after the
    start of classes, but his sudden appearance in History 135 -- The Age of
    Capitalism - for Math Majors -- didn't seem to upset or disorient anyone, as
    it didn't when he frequently raised his hand and mentioned how mythology is
    preferable to history because at least mythology admits it's a lie -- and
    when told that History admits it's a lie too, responded, Yeah, but History's
    lying when it says that.

    He didn't really sign up for anything and it was unclear where he lived or
    even slept. He just walked into random classes, usually many minutes late
    when the professor was already well into his spiel, and, as he sat down,
    raised his hand and asked some seemingly innocuous question which somehow
    caused the class, from that moment on and for all subsequent sessions for
    the rest of the semester, to stop moving through the actual course material
    and become totally enmeshed in the infinite recursive loop of
    epistemology -- i.e. what right did anybody have to say anything about
    anything, given the wack-a-mole relations between knower, known, and the
    objects and operations of knowing? (Or whatever.)

    By 1989 Harvard had to be shut down for repairs, and his class graduated
    only in the virtual-digital world of Sims. He was given a postdoctoral
    position in the MIT Psychology Department, based on his Harvard transcript
    where the 100 occurrences of the printed word "INCOMPLETE!" all had a poorly
    hand-drawn #2 pencil line through their "IN"s.

    Meanwhile, the other members of his class, who'd never known him or even
    knew who he was, yet had been profoundly influenced by his presence at
    Harvard, and who, during their 4 years, had done virtually no work, read
    virtually no books, and though they often sat around shuffling and
    reshuffling decks of cards, rarely got around to ever dealing out a hand,
    and when they did, it was always a completely different game from the last
    hand dealt and no one else around the table knew how to play it -- these
    graduates were immediately scarfed up by capitalism to become the CEOs of
    all their high-powered massively successful companies -- which, within a
    year had all failed.

    Cut to 1995.

    People live in harmony and happiness and bliss. There are no more stories,
    so no one can win or lose and no one can have power.

    By now he runs a small independent TV station in Cambridge, WBRI. It
    broadcasts Princeton classes like Physics for Lit Majors, Religion for
    Engineers, and Chemistry for Divinity Students, set to My Bloody Valentine
    and The Pixies.

    Everyone now lives on their own unique line of history and sociology.
    Occasionally, these lines intersect and the information space is modified.
    Occasionally multiple lines intersect and a temporary node is formed, set to
    Sisters of Mercy and Joy Division.

    Sincerely,

    Calogero

  2. Calogero Carlucci said:

    Dear [censored] Pound,

    For a while, people pretended they wanted freedom. But when the going got
    tough and they had to throw [censored] overboard to stay alive, it suddenly became
    clear to everybody that what they'd meant by freedom was really power.
    This awareness was at its peak in 1985, the year he entered Harvard despite
    bad grades, low SAT scores, no extracurricular activities, and a
    recommendation letter that said: "This person inhales and exhales, can stand
    up and sit down and walk in and out of doors. I have seen him eating on
    more than one occasion. I can only assume from this that he most likely
    defecates and urinates. Beyond that I can say nothing more about this
    student, even whether or not he sleeps.

    "He scores at chance levels on all tests, his papers appear to be random
    assemblages of words taken from the vocabulary of the topic at hand, as do
    his verbal 'contributions' in class.

    "As far as I can tell he appears to lack enthusiasm for any activity, enjoys
    nothing, shows no ambition, drive, or even desire to do or be or possess
    anything at all.

    "However, and despite not coming anywhere near any standard of popularity,
    for some unknown reason he's respected on some unfathomable level by his
    classmates, from the brightest to the dumbest, and is frequently elected to
    school councils even though he contributes nothing to them and does
    absolutely no work -- often, apparently, infecting the whole group with this
    attitude so that nothing ever gets done by any council he's on, or on any
    project he's involved with.

    "I can only predict, therefore, that upon admission to Harvard he would no
    doubt commence to do the same for you."

    He arrived in Cambridge, on full scholarship, in October, long after the
    start of classes, but his sudden appearance in History 135 -- The Age of
    Capitalism - for Math Majors -- didn't seem to upset or disorient anyone, as
    it didn't when he frequently raised his hand and mentioned how mythology is
    preferable to history because at least mythology admits it's a lie -- and
    when told that History admits it's a lie too, responded, Yeah, but History's
    lying when it says that.

    He didn't really sign up for anything and it was unclear where he lived or
    even slept. He just walked into random classes, usually many minutes late
    when the professor was already well into his spiel, and, as he sat down,
    raised his hand and asked some seemingly innocuous question which somehow
    caused the class, from that moment on and for all subsequent sessions for
    the rest of the semester, to stop moving through the actual course material
    and become totally enmeshed in the infinite recursive loop of
    epistemology -- i.e. what right did anybody have to say anything about
    anything, given the wack-a-mole relations between knower, known, and the
    objects and operations of knowing? (Or whatever.)

    By 1989 Harvard had to be shut down for repairs, and his class graduated
    only in the virtual-digital world of Sims. He was given a postdoctoral
    position in the MIT Psychology Department, based on his Harvard transcript
    where the 100 occurrences of the printed word "INCOMPLETE!" all had a poorly
    hand-drawn #2 pencil line through their "IN"s.

    Meanwhile, the other members of his class, who'd never known him or even
    knew who he was, yet had been profoundly influenced by his presence at
    Harvard, and who, during their 4 years, had done virtually no work, read
    virtually no books, and though they often sat around shuffling and
    reshuffling decks of cards, rarely got around to ever dealing out a hand,
    and when they did, it was always a completely different game from the last
    hand dealt and no one else around the table knew how to play it -- these
    graduates were immediately scarfed up by capitalism to become the CEOs of
    all their high-powered massively successful companies -- which, within a
    year had all failed.

    Cut to 1995.

    People live in harmony and happiness and bliss. There are no more stories,
    so no one can win or lose and no one can have power.

    By now he runs a small independent TV station in Cambridge, WBRI. It
    broadcasts Princeton classes like Physics for Lit Majors, Religion for
    Engineers, and Chemistry for Divinity Students, set to My Bloody Valentine
    and The Pixies.

    Everyone now lives on their own unique line of history and sociology.
    Occasionally, these lines intersect and the information space is modified.
    Occasionally multiple lines intersect and a temporary node is formed, set to
    Sisters of Mercy and Joy Division.

    Sincerely,

    Calogero

    Windowpane or blotter?

    R

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