Unusual human encounter

The other day I'm hanging out in this tree, and I see some wimpy freek
running along the trail, and he looked like the timid type, so I
decided to have a go at 'em.
As he jogged along i divebombed the human, and man I never saw anything
so scared. Then I made a bet with the crows that I could scare him so
bad he'd run the other way. As he jogged along I landed in the trail
right in front of him, and he stopped dead! Imagine what kind of a
pansie human would be afraid of a 4 oz bird? Then for good measure I
bared my teeth. Ok so we birds don't have teeth, but no matter to this
twerp, because this nervous nellie took off running like he'd seen a
ghost! The last thing I saw was his name on his shirt (Rick) and the
brown stain in his shorts as he ran away, leaving a trail of turds
behind.
You humans just crack me up.
Tweety D. Bird