Unusual human encounter

I was prancing thru the woods in my new pink tutu, and my new
flurescent orage nikes, when out of nowhere comes a big, nasty,
snarling tweety bird, it bared it's teeth at me, and snarled. I
immediately went into my best "four point" karate stance (on all fours,
the way I like it) and offered up my [censored] to the nasty bird. My
thinking was, once he "had his way" with me, he'd take a nap and give
me a chance to escape. But just my luck I got a "tranny tweety" who
wasn't interested in men (term used loosely in my case), but interested
in pecking me to death. He bared his huge fangs to me, and I ran away.
Rick