'Twas The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the street
cyclists were dressed in their garb, garish and geek
The bikes were hung by the chimney with care
but since the Nationals will be in Quebec next year
everyone was fat and they didn't seem to care
I in my kerchef and she in her cap
I sat down on the can and had a big [censored]
when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed, that was covered in fecal matter
And what did my wandering eyes did appear
but the Donut boys in the middle of December
hammering their brains out, now ain't that queer?
On Midweek on geek street on vixen and blitzen
the Nationals are in need of a serious fixin!