Tours de France That Lemond Should Have Won (TDFTLSHW)



D

DaveB

Guest
QUOTE
Minneapolis, MN -- Greg Lemond today released a statement that said he
has, reluctantly and with great sadness, been forced to add the 2006
Tour de France to the long list of tours that he should have won. Lemond
initially believed, and was even quoted in an earlier interview as
saying, that this was the first clean Tour de France in many years.
However, in light of the recent positive doping test of tour winner
Floyd Landis, Lemond has concluded that, in all likelihood, he himself
should have won the tour this year.

This brings the total number of Tours de France That Lemond Should Have
Won (TDFTLSHW) to 167. Lemond first won the tour in 1986. However, as he
has explained many times over the years since, he should have won the
Tour in 1985, but was lied to by Bernard Hinault and cheated out of the
race victory. Lemond next should have won the Tour in 1987 and 1988, but
was incapacitated by a shotgun blast from his brother-in-law. While the
incident was ruled an accident by the police, Lemond believes that his
brother-in-law was working with Hinault and a young Texan by the name of
Lance Armstrong to remove him from the sport.

Lemond came back to win the Tour in 1989 and 1990, but lost in 1991 due
to the fact that, as incredible as it may sound, every other rider in
the Tour de France besides Lemond was taking performance enhancing
drugs. Lemond believes these drugs were supplied by Bernard Hinault, who
realized that if nothing were done, Lemond would continue to win the
Tour for the next 50 years. The drug-tainted Tour would continue through
2005, including the reign of Lance Armstrong. In the absence of doping,
Lemond clearly would have won the Tour from 1991 to 2005, bringing the
total number of TDFTLSHW to 21.

Going back before 1985, Lemond believes that in all likelihood, he would
have won the Tour de France each year since his birth in 1961 if a) he
had known about it and he had not had the small stature and limited leg
length common to children between the ages of 0 and 10. As Lemond
explains, clearly it would be unfair to him to discount the Tour wins he
should have achieved were he only able to reach the pedals of his
bicycle. This brings the TDFTLSHW to 45.

While Lemond concedes that some may believe him to be "stretching it" by
including in his TDFTLSHW years from Tours before his birth, he claims
that if one is to think about it logically, the only possible conclusion
is that the greatest bike rider in the history of the Tour would
absolutely have won the Tour since its inception in 1903, if only he had
been alive at that time. It was not Greg Lemond's fault that his parents
were not alive and able to conceive him in time to ride the initial Tour
in 1903; thus, it would be unfair to strip him of the Tour wins that he
rightly should have been awarded.

Note that there have been 11 years since its creation in 1903 that the
Tour de France was not held due to the two World Wars. Clearly, stopping
the Tour due to worldwide war would have been unfair to Greg Lemond, had
he been alive, and would have in all likelihood, been a move
orchestrated by Bernard Hinault, had he himself been alive, to keep
Lemond from winning the tour. Thus, Lemond believes that these years
should also be included in the TDFTLSHW, giving him a total of 103 wins.

Finally, Lemond explains that he has included the years between the
invention of the bicycle to the first Tour de France (1839 to 1903) in
the TDFTLSHW. Had the French had the foresight to create the Tour de
France in a more timely manner, Lemond would have definitely won it each
and every year, again assuming he had been alive (see above). Obviously
Lemond cannot be blaimed for the shortsightedness and general ineptitude
of the French, and therefore the victory from the Tours de France that
should have been held in these years must be credited to Lemond,
bringing the final tally of TDFTLSHW to 167.

Note that while Lemond has not yet been able to rationalize including
years before the invention of the bicycle in the TDFTLSHW, he has
created a company to pursue such an effort. The company is hard at work
on a rationalization and hopes to produce one for him within the year.
 
DaveB said:
Note that while Lemond has not yet been able to rationalize including
years before the invention of the bicycle in the TDFTLSHW, he has
created a company to pursue such an effort. The company is hard at work
on a rationalization and hopes to produce one for him within the year.

This is for Greg to play with while he travels through time & space.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/news/radiophonatron.shtml