The Segway helps some, hurts some



D

Deuteros

Guest
I had posted previously about my experience with the Segway and how it saved
me from rashes on my enormous thighs caused by rubbing them together by
walking. I also commented that for all of the Segway's many advantages, it
did not allow me to tote my dogs as I might wish. After having used the
Segway for several months, I have some additional comments.

First, I have started to notice that the Segway is having a detrimental
effect on my reputation around town. Previously I would hear people talk
about me with awe in their voices. "How does that fat POS manage to
ambulate?" people would whisper, not realizing I have supersonic hearing
thanks to the cochlear implant I received from a bat at the age of 11. Now I
hear them snicker, and I even heard one elderly woman tell her granddaughter
"That man will never lose weight if he does not stop being lazy." The real
kicker, though, was being pelted with candy bars as I rode my Segway through
the downtown area.

I continue to be disappointed at the need to dismount the Segway to use
toilet facilities. I find the transition between riding the Segway and
riding the porcelain train a bit disconcerting. I would prefer if the Segway
had a built-in waste elimination system.

I am considering selling my Segway and getting an Ab Lounger 2, to uncover
the rock hard six pack I know is lurking under my belly.
 
Deuteros wrote:
> I had posted previously about my experience with the Segway and how it saved
> me from rashes on my enormous thighs caused by rubbing them together by
> walking. I also commented that for all of the Segway's many advantages, it
> did not allow me to tote my dogs as I might wish. After having used the
> Segway for several months, I have some additional comments.
>
> First, I have started to notice that the Segway is having a detrimental
> effect on my reputation around town. Previously I would hear people talk
> about me with awe in their voices. "How does that fat POS manage to
> ambulate?" people would whisper, not realizing I have supersonic hearing
> thanks to the cochlear implant I received from a bat at the age of 11. Now I
> hear them snicker, and I even heard one elderly woman tell her granddaughter
> "That man will never lose weight if he does not stop being lazy." The real
> kicker, though, was being pelted with candy bars as I rode my Segway through
> the downtown area.
>
> I continue to be disappointed at the need to dismount the Segway to use
> toilet facilities. I find the transition between riding the Segway and
> riding the porcelain train a bit disconcerting. I would prefer if the Segway
> had a built-in waste elimination system.
>
> I am considering selling my Segway and getting an Ab Lounger 2, to uncover
> the rock hard six pack I know is lurking under my belly.

Try not eating for about 6 months and just chew on antacid tablets like
Tums. Calcium carbonate. Strong bones, no calories. If I ever got that
fat I would shoot myself.
Wrong group to look for pity on.
Get a bike and ride. I haven't seen any Segways around here but a lot of
scooter chairs here the rider gets up and stands to get things off of
the high shelves.
Laziness is not an option for a well lived life.
Bill
 
Bill <[email protected]> wrote:

>If I ever got that fat I would shoot myself.

Promise? I'll buy the burgers.

>Wrong group to look for pity on.

Because none of us is caring, sympathetic, compassionate or
kindhearted ... or because you're just an a$$hole?

>Get a bike and ride. I haven't seen any Segways around here but a lot of
>scooter chairs here the rider gets up and stands to get things off of
>the high shelves.
>Laziness is not an option for a well lived life.
>Bill

Bill, where were you for those quiet months ... and why did you come
back?
 
I submit that on or about Sat, 01 Oct 2005 15:32:11 GMT, the person
known to the court as Neil Brooks <[email protected]> made a
statement (<[email protected]> in Your
Honour's bundle) to the following effect:

>>Wrong group to look for pity on.

>Because none of us is caring, sympathetic, compassionate or
>kindhearted ... or because you're just an a$$hole?

How about: because some of us recognise satire when we see it?

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

85% of helmet statistics are made up, 69% of them at CHS, Puget Sound
 
"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email protected]> wrote:

>I submit that on or about Sat, 01 Oct 2005 15:32:11 GMT, the person
>known to the court as Neil Brooks <[email protected]> made a
>statement (<[email protected]> in Your
>Honour's bundle) to the following effect:
>
>>>Wrong group to look for pity on.
>
>>Because none of us is caring, sympathetic, compassionate or
>>kindhearted ... or because you're just an a$$hole?
>
>How about: because some of us recognise satire when we see it?

Don't really know Bill Baka, do you, Guy?
 
I submit that on or about Sat, 01 Oct 2005 15:54:11 GMT, the person
known to the court as Neil Brooks <[email protected]> made a
statement (<[email protected]> in Your
Honour's bundle) to the following effect:

>Don't really know Bill Baka, do you, Guy?

Enough; the man fell for a well-crafted troll anyway - the response
was nearly as funny as the original :)

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

85% of helmet statistics are made up, 69% of them at CHS, Puget Sound
 
"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email protected]> wrote:

>I submit that on or about Sat, 01 Oct 2005 15:54:11 GMT, the person
>known to the court as Neil Brooks <[email protected]> made a
>statement (<[email protected]> in Your
>Honour's bundle) to the following effect:
>
>>Don't really know Bill Baka, do you, Guy?
>
>Enough; the man fell for a well-crafted troll anyway - the response
>was nearly as funny as the original :)

Fair enough. I was simply considering the source....
 
Deuteros wrote:

> I continue to be disappointed at the need to dismount the Segway to use
> toilet facilities. I find the transition between riding the Segway and
> riding the porcelain train a bit disconcerting. I would prefer if the Segway
> had a built-in waste elimination system.

*This*, ladies and gentlemen, is the work of a genius. I applaud this
troll.

RFM
 
Neil Brooks wrote:
> Bill <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>>If I ever got that fat I would shoot myself.
>
>
> Promise? I'll buy the burgers.

This group is supposed to be about getting on the BIKE and getting
exercise, which causes one to lose weight and get healthy.
>
>
>>Wrong group to look for pity on.
>
>
> Because none of us is caring, sympathetic, compassionate or
> kindhearted ... or because you're just an a$$hole?

I am not an a$$hole, but I have seen way too many people who were too
damned lazy to walk, even in a store like Wal-Mart. They would grab the
courtesy scooters and then get up for the reach to the high shelves. Why
would I have pity on someone who is too lazy to walk? I have a friend
who is about 5'11 and over 300 pounds and plays with his computers all
day instead of riding his perfectly good Cannondale. I rag on him to go
on a ride with me and we wind up doing computer stuff. He will walk in
the stores but will also drive around to find the closest possible
parking spot with the least walking.
>
>
>>Get a bike and ride. I haven't seen any Segways around here but a lot of
>>scooter chairs here the rider gets up and stands to get things off of
>>the high shelves.
>>Laziness is not an option for a well lived life.
>>Bill
>
>
> Bill, where were you for those quiet months ... and why did you come
> back?

I looked in and did not post and you (guys mostly) were doing pretty
good flaming each other without me. Try to remember that this is a .misc
group and even a 13 year old with bike questions should be treated with
some respect even if they don't agree with you self appointed pro's.
Bill
 
Bill <[email protected]> wrote:

>Neil Brooks wrote:
>> Bill <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>If I ever got that fat I would shoot myself.
>>
>>
>> Promise? I'll buy the burgers.
>
>This group is supposed to be about getting on the BIKE and getting
>exercise, which causes one to lose weight and get healthy.
>>
>>
>>>Wrong group to look for pity on.
>>
>>
>> Because none of us is caring, sympathetic, compassionate or
>> kindhearted ... or because you're just an a$$hole?
>
>I am not an a$$hole, but I have seen way too many people who were too
>damned lazy to walk, even in a store like Wal-Mart. They would grab the
>courtesy scooters and then get up for the reach to the high shelves. Why
>would I have pity on someone who is too lazy to walk? I have a friend
>who is about 5'11 and over 300 pounds and plays with his computers all
>day instead of riding his perfectly good Cannondale. I rag on him to go
>on a ride with me and we wind up doing computer stuff. He will walk in
>the stores but will also drive around to find the closest possible
>parking spot with the least walking.
>>
>>
>>>Get a bike and ride. I haven't seen any Segways around here but a lot of
>>>scooter chairs here the rider gets up and stands to get things off of
>>>the high shelves.
>>>Laziness is not an option for a well lived life.
>>>Bill


Guy,

This is what I meant ;-)
 
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