Jokes · Public discussion

The Magic of VODKA!

Started by Cipher · · Last activity · 2 posts · 2,934 views

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Published
21 May 2004
Last activity
14 May 2016
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Cipher
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  1. 1. To remove a bandage painlessly,
    saturate the bandage with vodka.
    The solvent dissolves the adhesive.

    2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs
    and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle
    with vodka, spray the caulking, let
    set five minutes and wash clean. The
    alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

    3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply
    wipe the lenses with a soft, clean
    cloth dampened with vodka. The
    alcohol in the vodka cleans the
    glass and kills germs.

    4. Prolong the life of razors by
    filling a cup with vodka and letting
    your safety razor blade soak in the
    alcohol after shaving.
    The vodka disinfects the
    blade and prevents rusting.

    5. Spray vodka on vomit stains,
    scrub with a brush, then blot dry.

    6. Using a cotton ball, apply
    vodka to you! r face as an astringent
    to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

    7. Add a jigger of vodka to a
    12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The
    alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes
    toxins from hair, and stimulates the
    growth of healthy hair.

    8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray
    bottle and spray bees or
    wasps to kill them.

    9. Pour one-half cup vodka and
    one-half cup water in a Ziplock
    freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy,
    re-freezable ice pack for aches,
    pain, or black eyes.

    10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise
    jar with freshly packed lavender flowers,
    fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid
    tightly and set in the sun for three days.

    Strain liquid through a coffee
    filter, then apply the tincture
    to aches and pains.

    11. Make your own mouthwash
    by mixing nine tablespoons powered
    cinnamon with one cup vodka.

    Seal in an airtight container
    for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Mix with warm
    water and rinse your mouth.
    Don't swallow.

    12. Using a q-tip, apply vodka
    to a cold sore to help it dry out.

    13. If a blister opens, pour vodka
    over the raw skin as a local anesthetic
    that also disinfects the exposed dermis.

    14. To treat dandruff, mix one
    cup vodka with two teaspoons
    crushed rosemary let sit for two days,
    strain through a coffee filter and
    massage into your scalp and let dry.

    15. To treat an earache put a
    few drops of vodka in your ear.
    Let set for a few minutes.
    Then drain. The vodka will kill the
    bacteria that is causing pain
    in your ear.

    16. To relieve a fever, use
    a washcloth to rub vodka on your
    chest and back as a liniment.

    17. To cure foot odor,
    wash your feet with vodka.

    18. Vodka will disinfect and
    alleviate a jellyfish sting.

    19. Pour vodka over an area affected
    with poison ivy to remove the urushiol
    oil from your skin.

    20. Swish a shot of vodka over an
    aching tooth. Allow your gums to
    absorb some of the alcohol to
    numb the pain.

    OR JUST DO WHAT I DO!!!
    Or bypass all the inconvenience
    and drink the stuff! You'll be
    entirely disinfected from the inside
    out, but when you pee, make sure
    to hit that mildew in the
    shower. It will remove the mildew,
    and empty your bladder in one easy step! 😉

  2. I knew there was a reason why I like vodka. LOL! This is funny. The Russians are smart. All-purpose liquid, one stop shop. If it's too cheap to drink put it under the sink for one of the many uses.

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