The Dog

A BLOKE sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard, so he goes out there and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Sure do," the dog replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.
"I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running because no one thought a dog would be eavesdropping.
"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings there, was awarded a string of medals, had a wife, a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "10 quid."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Cos he's a f***ing liar. He's never done any of that stuff"