Tyler Florence may be a good cook, but he's no cooking instructor. Since he
took over "How to Boil Water," I've totally forgotten how to boil water.
I used to emulate Jack, the co-host, as she emulated the cooks who used to
be on the show. She would chop when they chopped and whisk when they
whisked. We, the chef, Jack and I, sliced and seared and baked in tandem.
She did everything they did. I did everything she did.
Then Tyler Florence came to the show. Now Jack and I are getting really good
at sitting off to one side and drinking coffee. I'm getting good at her
scripted lines, too. I can do Tyler's as well. I know them by heart. But
I've forgotten how to boil water. So has Jack.
Jack and I used to make mashed potatoes together, and bake chicken. We made
spaghetti, and macaroni and cheese. We got smeared with flour together. We
would nearly slice our fingernails (or our fingertips) off together. We used
to toss things in a frying pan as if as one. We used to make ordinary
comfort foods, with a little help from an accomplished professional. All
right, sometimes we were outright rescued by the guy, but all was well that
ended well and our food got cooked and plated and to the table eventually.
Sitting at the end of the counter watching Tyler cook has forced Jack and me
smack out of practice with this cooking jazz. If Tyler would let us anywhere
near the cutting board now, we wouldn't be able to do a thing. We've
forgotten how to hold a knife. We've lost the knack for that spatula swing.
We can't even find our tongs anymore. But even if we could, I don't think we
would recognize the food being made.
We've never been faced with some of the stuff he makes. We made stuff people
eat every day. Now we have butterflied layers of this and crusted blackened
that... stuffed with what? What's that??
But hey, Jack and me, we're game. We'll take on whatever Tyler wants to
make. How can we get him to let us?
We could be good at it if he'd let us do it. But Tyler is no teacher. He's
good at pure demonstration, but Jack and I need hands on. We need the
opportunity to risk hacking ourselves up in the name of the learning curve,
and we need Tyler to step back and let us do it with just a little
encouragement and patience and a bottomless sense of humor and an
unthreatened ego and...
Ah ha. Jack, we may be on to something.
Tyler, we must boil the water. We need to boil the water! That's how we
learn. So what if we're slower than you. We're supposed to be. And if we
burn the pot, it's not a reflection on you. We might get nicked but we won't
need transfusions and we won't blame you. If the dough flops and the meat
burns, the fat splatters and the cake falls, it's not because you're a bad
cook, Tyler. Try to remember what it was like to learn to do this, Tyler.
Despite your background, Tyler, there was a time when you didn't know how to
do this either. Recall that time, Tyler, and you might be the effective
teacher you seem to want to be.
Until then, Jack and I will drink coffee and eat what's put in front of us,
while we remember the old days and alway wonder if making tomato soup from
scratch is as easy as it looked.