This could never happen to anyone else because everyone always goes to the
most experienced and skilled scarification artist around. And no one ever
pushes an artist to do something a little more than they thought best. Just
me.
Actually my artist may only have about two years cutting professionally (and
8 piercing) but he is skilled. So it was the "me" part that led to this
little problem I am having. And in the long run it will be just a little
problem I am sure but for right now it is a [censored].
When I said I wanted my inner forearm cut wrist to elbow the artist gave me
a list of possible problems. Bloody wet death being foremost but followed
not too far by painful healing compounded by the constant mobility of the
area and lack of comprehension and misunderstandings of my motive for doing
this. I felt confident that he could avoid the slasher film death scene. I
had been cut by this person a number of times already and saw his level of
control. And I have cut my own wrist for bloodletting more times than I
could count. Actually, since the scars are still there albeit pale now as
this was many years ago I could count. But I don't want to. My point is I
know how deep the veins are. Also I spent years as a Vet. Tech. assisting
in surgery and specializing in treating wicked wounds. Jesus the things I
have seen. A cat caught in a car engine and ripped to shreds and not found
for days. She came to us reeking of death. We had to cut off her tail. Her
front leg was skinned to the bone in spots. But the worst was an eight inch
gaping gash that ran up the inside of her leg up across her abdomen. The
edges were necrotic. It took a year to close her up. Stitches and
ointments and powders and bandages and experimental gel pads and on and on.
I kept this cat for 17 years and watched her scars. And saw her battle the
dreaded "contracture" for real. She died just before I had my second
cutting done. Peacefully in her sleep.
Scarification in most cases I am sure causes no change in mobility. I have
five and none of the others have caused any changes after healing. I have
seen some inner arm cuts and try to think why mine is giving me this much
trouble. Maybe its the continuity of the line. The central line is eight
inches. Maybe the cut got a bit too deep in the middle where he had to bust
thru an old scar. He didn't like this idea over much but I assumed all
responsibility. I really wanted this and just this way. I have a lot of
reasons.
The design looks just how I wanted. The guy who did it has since said he's
glad he did it because it came out like I envisioned. (And no one bled to
death.) I have told him about the boa constrictor tightening and the steps
I take to ease it. I am glad I did it too but I have come to take it much
more seriously than I did at first. Emotionally and physically.
It started on the third day after the cut was made. I got a phone call from
home saying an(other) old friend had died. Heroin overdose. Needles.
There have been many bad deaths in my very small home town lately. This is
the kind of place where everyone knows everyone and always has. My brother
is a heroin addict there.
I got the news and stared at my arm feeling ashamed. But I am alive. I am
not a heroin addict. My ways of coping may have been extreme in some eyes
but I am alright. I work, I raise my son, I volunteer at the zoo and with
autistic children. I am not insane. I am not sick. I am healthier now
than I ever thought I would be. But I had to comtemplate attending a
funeral with a slit wrist. Irony. I think my friend who died would have
gotten a kick out of it though. I'll miss him much.
Then the cut got a rash. Prickly heat I know but I have sensitive skin and
it went wild. None of the other cuts had this at all.
I wanted this one closed and healed but I was also afraid that the more
delicate lines would not scar so I put medicated powder in the trench of the
long line (I have always found powders close things quicker that ointments)
and irritated the hell out of the little lines. Three weeks and all was
sealed up and healed. Sort of.
The constriction started to become more apparent. If I was on the phone and
held my arm bent for too long it didn't want to unbend. When I sleep I tend
to fold my arm around the pillow. Not anymore. Waking up pain was worse
than the cutting was. Much and over and over again.
I started trying to lubricate it and that helped some but I had to admit
something a bit serious was happening and figure what to do. I asked an RBR
staff member after he posted a picture of a wrist cut on his mySpace page
and he banned me from his sight. I said "Wow". I decided IAM: NOT.
As always a little research proves helpful though. I read up on scar
management and - CONTRACTURE.
I now massage the line with circular motions using lotions and as much
pressure as possible. Apparently this is done to force fluid out of the
tissue. Then I stretch the scar along its length. Then wrap it in an ACE
bandage for pressure. Also I do some range of motion exercises. This is
helping a lot but I can see this will take a while. It's okay but very
different from the other scars I have had done.
Well like I said it was boring and it will never happen to you because you
would do everything right or not at all.
I stand by my decision to have this done and done this way though. It means
a lot to me. Even more now than before.