RR: This Is Impossible!

This RR is from Jim's point of view on the ride (his comp isn't working):

This weather is starting to get us down.It has been Humid, hot and sticky for days on end. There has
been enough rainfall to keep the Greenbelt trail socked in stinking mud but not enough to keep us
off of our bikes... We slog to the trail to find the stinking, mosquito ridden bogs and return to
Bethpage and drier trails. Familiarity breeds contempt. We both need a rest from the Bethpage
trails. Last night we said to hell with the bogs. We were going to brave the Greenbelt... We started
to unload and the first of our night of errors began. We left the connector to my helmet light on
the charger. So I was down to the bar mounts. Carla wanted to turn around and go home to get it. I
insisted we press on without it. (Que the mission impossible music) We take off. Carla begins to
complain that she feels something is not right in her crank. We are going through Bethpage and I see
that Carla is spending a lot of time looking down trying to locate the problem. We decide that we
should not change plans and stay in Bethpage but press on to the North. We arrive at the Greenbelt
and it is as we left it last time... Boggy. We travel a bit furthur and Carla tells me she can no
longer take it her crank is loose. We stop...(Mission impossible music becomes perceptibly louder in
the background)... I take out the multi-tool and go at all the bolts.. Everything is tight except
for one bolt on the ring. I am dripping in sweat and by the time I get it fixed. I have a very
itchy, very out of my reach mosquito bite on my back. I begin to freak out... Carla honors me with a
nice back scratch and we are off... We ride in silence for a bit and make our first road crossing...
Carla stops and tells me her bike is now ghost shifting and needs to stop... We stop in the
gathering dark and look... by now I can feel the mosquitos moving in for the feast I am slapping
various parts of my body to no avail. there are millions of them on us... sucking the very life from
us... We struggle to find a problem when I notice that her cursed [censored], mother loving bike's
cassette had loosened up. We removed the wheel and started putting it back in order. By now we were
barely able to get anywhere because we were either swatting or scratching.... I didn't choose to
take this mission and nobody told me Carla's bike would automatically self destruct... I went ape
****... We got the cassette back on but I dropped the nut on the skewer and couldn't find it...
Carla swept the area with her light but that just acted like a beacon and called every mosquito from
a 5 mile radius to the feast. We finally found the damnable nut and put the wheel on but the brake
rubbed!!! I had had it.. I called it quits... We turned around for home... Welted, greasy, drenched
in sweat... When we arrived home we both were covered in bites... I slammed on the air conditioning
on and cracked a couple of beers for Carla and me... so when does Autmun officially begin?

Jimbo(san)