Out on my favorite trails this weekend - trails totally buff and fast.
Too damn fast for some of the [censored] out there, I guess...
Every damn switchback and little downhill has skid marks on the uphill
side. What should have been a glorious outting was instead an
exercise in anger management. I swear, if I ever catch one of these
[censored], I'm gonna gonna give 'em a goatse.cx with my tire levers.
Last fall, the trail was so rutted that it took us the better part of
two weeks of EVERY NIGHT going out and fixing the trail to get it to
be even half-way decent. And boy, did folks [censored] hard about this
section being closed. If I thought these Neanderthals could read, I'd
post something at the trailhead.
Ahem.
OK, so that was the bad news. The good news is that I grew a pair,
finally. Of skills, that is. For some reason, I always got psyched
out by switchbacks. I'd come up to one, do my thing, dab, get off,
push three feet, get on and ride. For no reason - some mental block.
Mostly going uphill, but every now and again downhill. It's not like
they were tough, narrow switchbacks, either. I know, laugh all you
want - it's a really stupid thing to be proud of. I bust my ass on
baby-headed downhills, roots-n-sticks, rock ledges and rutted climbs,
and never think about it. But set me in front of a switchback, and
I'm jello. Weird. Well, no more, dammit! 🙂 I just rode them like
I'd been doing it forever, and now I want to ride them faster. LOL.
Speaking of baby heads - Riding on a trail with ponderosa pine cones
is like riding on a monolayer of golf balls. You have no idea which
way the wheel is going to go. It's damn exciting, let me tell you.
Oh, yeah - the other skill. After seeing, over the course of years,
tons of carnage when it comes to going down stairs, I have mostly
avoided them. But there's a nice long run on the campus where I work,
so I said "what the hell" and just went for it. No hesitation, just
run up and fly down. First run, I was nearly OTB on the last stair,
but pulled it out at the very end. (Shut up, Sorni - no anal sex
reference there.) The second run, I got a little behind the saddle,
and hooked my waistband on the back of the saddle comming back, which
led to a few humorous moments of
knobby-tire-near-fat-ass-on-smooth-path. Again, it's stupid to be
proud of this minimal skill, considering the kinds of stuff I normally
ride, but never think about. It does show that the mental game is
pretty important when you're on your bike. I have a friend who has
driven some serious machinery at local tracks (Portland and Seattle
International Raceways), but can't parallel park. He can, but he gets
all psyched out and ends up screwing it up. Good for a laugh, but
just demonstrates the mental angle of much of what we do.
Hell, if you really want mental - try getting an acrophobic to walk
the Angel's Landing in Zion. Walking is no big deal, right? LOL.
Lastly, so wildly OT as to be laughable: www.fuh2.com
--
Jonesy "mastered two dumb newbie skills, and proud of it"