On 14 Sep 2003 03:15:36 -0700, [email hidden] (Steve) wrote:
->Then the babies have arrived.
->
->At this point things change.
->
->The man still wants/needs sex ... but the woman doesn't! The babies
->have been born - all the woman's attention is focussed on them - and
->suddenly, sex is unnecessary to the woman and even becomes repugnant
->to her. The male begins to be seen as the beast!!! With one thought on
->his mind - which of course is correct, the male manufacturing
->something like 9 million sperm every 24 hours!
->
->So the separation and the hatred have begun. To finish either in the
->law courts, or a cold and dead marriage.
"Four years may be the length of our ancestral, biological
“breeding season.” Human brain physiology for infatuation
and attachment seems to fit this interval."
http://mkuijsten.tripod.com/pdf/evolution.pdf
....
A census taken in such diverse areas as South Africa, Japan,
Morocco, the U.S., the Soviet Union, Greece, and El Salvador
showed that there are three peaks times when couples most
frequently divorce. These three peaks are couples married
for four years, couples between the ages of 25–29, and couples
with one or no children. These divorce peaks are found in
countries with both high and low divorce rates. Also,
in the U.S., the overall pattern is similar in the past four
decades, despite the rise in the divorce rate. So-called
primitive cultures also yield similar information.
“All of these people differ widely in religion, economy,
political views, per capita income, and social structure.”4
So why the common peaks in divorce? A possible answer is
common brain physiology.
“Psychiatrists divide the love between a man and a woman into
two fundamental stages: the attraction phase and the attachment
phase.”5 Michael Liebowitz, a psychiatrist at New York State
Psychiatric Institute, theorizes that the attraction phase
is “caused by increased activity in the brain of phenylethylamine
or other natural brain stimulants.”6 John Money, a sexologist
at John Hopkins University, suggests that among lovers who
see each other regularly, this stage of intense emotion can
only last two or three years. Liebowitz theorizes that “the
brain’s tolerance for these natural aphrodisiacs grows,
eventually dulling the sensation of intense infatuation.”7
Then the attachment stage sets in, which is associated with
a different set of brain chemicals. Liebowitz attributes these
systems to our evolutionary heritage:
For primitive man, two aspects of relating to the opposite
sex where important for survival as a species. The first was
to have males and females become attracted to each other for
long enough to have sex and reproduce. The second was for the
males to become strongly attached to the female so that they
stayed around while the females were raising their young and
helped to gather food, find shelter and teach the kids certain
skills. Nature seems quite determined that we fall in love;
she has dedicated less evolutionary energy to maintaining
that state.
Another important fact is that marriage does not imply fidelity.
Based on information from the late 1940s, Alfred Kinsey estimated
[Hasn't Kinsey been mostly debunked?]
that 1/3 of all married men and 1/4 of all married women are
unfaithful. The statistics have risen since then. Infidelity is
common in many cultures, even when it is punished by death.8
Remarriage is also common where ever divorce is. United Nations
records show that 5/6 of divorced men and 4/5 of divorced women
remarry, half of the time within three years.9
Monogamy is rare in nonhuman mammals. Usually if mammals form a
bond it is only because more than one parent is needed to raise
the young. When the young are raised though infancy, the bond
is broken. Examples of this are foxes and bears. Serial monogamy
is found in non-mammals such as robins.
Perhaps—like these other animals that mate only for a breeding
season—the human pair bond originally evolved to last only long
enough to raise a single child through infancy. There was no
reason for a couple to remain together unless a second child
was conceived.
Four years may be the length of our ancestral, biological
“breeding season.” Human brain physiology for infatuation and
attachment seems to fit this interval. Also, births are
commonly spaced about four years apart among groups of Australian
aborigines as well as among the traditional Kung Bushmen.10
The reason that the “breeding season” is comparatively long
with humans is because human infants are born less developed
and they have a longer childhood than any primate species.
Americans idealize lifelong marriage; they equate divorce
with failure. But among our ancestors, there may have been
biological advantages to changing mates during the reproductive
years. A male or female who changed mates during his or her
reproductive years would have produced genetically more
varied young, probably enhancing the likelihood that his or
her lineage would survive in fluctuating environments.11
....