rec.sport.unicycling · Public discussion

Re: Alaska 2008: The Dalton Highway Write-Up (Long)

Started by captainwelch · · Last activity · 5 posts · 349 views

Thread details

What we know about this thread

Original section
rec.sport.unicycling
Published
28 May 2008
Last activity
28 May 2008
Original author
captainwelch
Posts
5
Discussion status
Public discussion
Total views
349
Views / 30 days
2

The navigation and discussion metadata provide context. Posts remain in their original chronological order.

Showing posts 1–5 of 5
Posts remain in their original chronological order.

Text size
  1. Day Eighteen: I was so excited to leave Coldfoot I didn’t know
    whether to [censored] or go blind. I ate a great breakfast and hit the road.
    Only a mile out of town all hell broke loose. I got caught in a serious
    downpour. Even in the sixty seconds I had to put on my wetsuit and pack
    cover I got completely soaked. Luckily it was up to about sixty
    degrees, even though I was still considerably north of the Arctic
    Circle.
    I was slowed greatly and I was miserable. My legs had a chance two
    soften up a bit as I was off the wheel for four consecutive days in
    Coldfoot. Then rain let up around five PM and I made camp before the
    rain started again. A [censored] first day back on the trail. But I had a
    great site to camp, right next to Grayling Lake. I even had an outhouse
    to throw my bear-proof-bag on top of on take comfortable bowel movements
    in. Early to bed. Distance traveled: 25 miles.

    Day Nineteen: I had the pleasure of a wake up call provided by the
    Alaska Department of Highway Transportation. A semi full of dirt rolled
    in every five minutes or so for over an hour, dumped their load and a
    bulldozer was pushing dirt around ferociously. I awoke sluggishly, and
    earlier than I would have liked to. I cooked the usually Mac and Cheese
    for breakfast when a blue pickup truck slammed on their brakes on the
    highway.
    He pulled into the rest area and asked if I was seriously unicycling
    the Haul Road. I of course said yes. It turned out that he is a
    photographer and he was working on a photo-book project of the Haul
    Road and the people that travel its length. He asked if I minded doing
    a few photos and I didn’t mind.
    After a photo shoot and a short chat I packed up camp and hit the
    road. The hills here were not bad at all. Late in the afternoon I
    arrived at the Arctic Circle camp area. When I rode in a immediately
    went to the outhouse their and was startled by what I saw—blood
    in my urine. I was slightly concerned.
    I rolled up to the tourist Arctic Circle sign to find a group of
    tourists piling out of a fifteen passenger van with a guide in tow.
    They of course asked what I was doing up there on a unicycle. I told
    them my tale and they were in near disbelief. They asked how I felt and
    I was slightly delirious so I was honest. I said that I was exhausted,
    had been hearing voices, and that I was pissing blood. Curious smiles
    turned to looks of disgust and the promptly left. Must have been
    something I said… I took the obligatory Arctic Circle photos and
    headed south.
    As I turned out of the parking area I realized that I forgot about
    riding down Beaver Slide on my trip north. A mile later I found myself
    looking up a straight shot two mile nine percent uphill grade. I
    managed to ride maybe half a mile of it and then spent the next hour
    and a half slowly trudging up that hill. I started to hear trucks that
    didn’t exist come up from behind me. I was having full out
    auditory hallucinations.
    I made it to the top and had smooth downhill riding all the way back
    down to Old Man, Alaska. The not-so-smooth part of this leg of day was
    when I looked over my shoulder to see a string of trucks hauling ass
    toward me. Whenever I saw this I dismounted, got ten feet off the road
    and waited for them to pass. Only at this point in the day, sometimes
    the trucks never passed, they disappeared. I was now having visual
    hallucinations.
    I pulled into Old Man around nine in the evening to a nice cabin to
    spend the evening in. Upon arrival I went to the outhouse not to find
    blood in my urine, but urine in my flood. I was freaked out.
    Unfortunately I found an ancient bottle of whisky inside the cabin. I
    drank myself silly, but was still careful to eat a decent meal and
    drink plenty of water. There really is a certain comfort to be found in
    booze when you’re troubled about something. This night, I found
    that comfort and drifted to sleep in the cozy cabin. Distance traveled:
    73 miles.

    Days Twenty and Twenty One: Despite my drunkenness the night before I
    woke up fairly early an refreshed and was relived to find to blood in
    my urine at all. So I hit the road with high spirits. I had smooth
    sailings down several steep downhill grades and through gentler grades
    down into the Yukon River Valley. I arrived at the Yukon River Camp
    just before noon. The camp was now open but I declined the opportunity
    to get a decent meal because it was so early in the day and I was
    feeling great.
    I called my parents collect and let them know my location, slammed a
    giant cup of coffee and took pictures of the massive Yukon River bridge
    and the river, which had almost no ice now.
    Riding over the bridge itself was a real [censored]. A half mile long
    wooden bridge at a seven percent grade. Very strange riding, for a
    bridge. Once over the river the climb out of the Yukon River Valley was
    not nearly as bad going southbound as it was on the other side to the
    north, and it was paved. Much more agreeable riding. I made fantastic
    time.
    The Boreal Forrest was now void of snow and every mile I rode, the
    greener she became. Around six in the evening I started to become
    haunted by visual and auditory hallucinations again. This time it was
    on the final twenty mile stretch of the Dalton Highway—the
    toughest section of the 415 mile road.
    At the top of one of the higher hills I ran into some bear hunters.
    They could probably tell I was a wreck from a long day of riding. The
    tried to get me to make camp, but I wanted to make it back to the head
    of the Haul Road before retiring for the night. When I told them this
    the tempted me to stay with something to smoke. I could not turn down
    the offer.
    Alaskan pot is unlike any other strain I have smoked. It is fruitful,
    sticky, and colorful. It does not make you tired, delirious, or make
    you eat. Upon smoking this tasty herb I felt immensely better and
    decided to hit the road around ten that evening.
    And so I road through the steep hills of the Dalton Highway through
    the Boreal Forrest. Stoned. I didn’t care.
    I hit the head of the Dalton Highway at two in the morning. I thought
    to myself, “Why Stop Now?” I did eat three packets of Mac
    and Cheese and a few energy bars underneath the sign that marks the
    beginning of the highway.
    At three in the morning, with a full belly, I moved south on the
    Elliot Highway. I was making great time back on paved road. The sun was
    rising shortly after I left. The hills that murdered my legs three weeks
    before now barely slowed me down as my legs pumped like the pistons of
    an engine of a train on its way to hell. I passed the Colorado Dome
    Trailhead at six in the morning, and took advantage of the outhouse
    there. I was out of toilet paper at this point.
    Shortly after that I passed the bus at the Arctic Circle trading Post
    that I had slept in many nights before. I briefly stopped to filter
    some fresh water and relive myself. I found more blood in my urine. I
    was starting to get worried. Nevertheless, I continued on. At ten that
    morning I arrived at the Wickersham Dome Trailhead and made a decent
    sized meal of Mac and Cheese and energy bars.
    I hastily hit the trail again. Although I was hearing things again,
    the visual hallucinations I had earlier in the week had not come back.
    I reached Fox at four in the afternoon and did not even dismount,
    despite the fact that I promised several people at the bar there that I
    would check in on my way back. I hauled ass the last eleven miles into
    town. When Fairbanks came into view I dumped my excess drinking water
    to save weight.
    The last two miles into town were all downhill. I was so happy to see
    the town. The first restraint on the north side of town is a
    McDonald’s. I didn’t care. It was real food to me. I
    chocked down four fish sandwiches, two large fires, a giant shake, and
    two apple pies. Then I puked.
    I still had six miles back to the hostel. I rode slower than normal.
    Sort of dizzy. The newspaper article about me three weeks before had
    generated a little bit of attention and truckers and tourists on the
    Haul Road had spread rumors of my progress while I was gone. People
    were hollering and honking at me more than normal. It was kind of neat.
    But I just wanted to get my ass off of my saddle.
    I stumbled into Billie’s Backpacker Hostel around six that
    evening. She was surprised to see me back so early. I was surprised to
    finish so early. I was 10 days ahead of schedule. She promptly had
    pizza in my hands and despite her strict no drinking rule at the
    hostel, we all had beers. Distance traveled: 186 miles.

    Total distance traveled: about 1010 miles

    Despite my looming health problems and lack of sleep, I took no nap
    that evening. I told my tale to the residents of Billie’s
    Backpacker Hostel to a group of people from the States, Canada,
    Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, Japan, Hong Kong, Bulgaria and Argentina.
    Most of them didn’t know what the hell I said.
    Either way we ended up at the same bar I started at three weeks prior:
    The Marlin. We spent the night drinking good beer, smoking great hash,
    and talked [censored] in half a dozen languages. Drunk and stoned we made
    our way back to the hostel. I climbed into my tent in the backyard and
    slept.

    I spent a few days in Fairbanks with a girl I met in Deadhorse who
    worked for the Transportation Security Administration. I had to change
    three flights and that took some time. I finally made it back to
    Chicago to stay with my parents until my next tour begins in Japan this
    summer. I no longer hallucinate or have blood in my urine.

    The Dalton Highway is a lofty, but highly achievable goal for a
    unicyclist or any cyclist. I may have gone too early in the season, and
    it came closer to claiming my life than I would like to admit. But
    seriously, if you have the chance, ride this road. It is one hell of an
    adventure. If nothing else, drive it just for the scenery. It is worth
    it.

    A special thanks to:

    Unicycle.com for giving me equipment that held up very well.
    Kris Holm Unicycles for upgraded parts that improved my time in the
    north.
    Phiten Corporation for the free base layers.
    Sheryl at the Woolly Rhino for encouraging words right at the begging.
    The 2007-2008 cast of Blast! For your awesome support and not
    committing me when I thought this trip up.
    Terry Kadel, for the beers and shots.
    Ben, for the smoke.
    Darcy, for the bed.
    Sam for the food and beer.
    Chad, for the beer.
    Kary, for the smoke and good company.
    Louise Hall, for the food and tour of Wiseman.
    Tim Slater, for the soda and food. T
    ammy Winland, for some finaincail support.
    Jon for the booze.
    Michelle for the booze and always giving a strange unicyclist a place
    to sleep. Deb Bernard, for the postage stamps.
    Viola and Jen, for the many, many beers, great meal and a place to
    sleep and a smoke.
    Ben, for the photographs.
    The many truckers who drive the Haul Road that encouraged me and
    through soda and sandwiches in the road for me.
    And of course Mom and Dad for their amazing support and financial help
    along the way.

    Until the next ride…

    One Wheel, One Love.

    --Mike

    --
    captainwelch
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    captainwelch's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/16538
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/70267

    Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    http://www.usenet.com

  2. Wow. I'm printing and reading. Looks awesome. Thanks for sharing.

    Z

    --
    boisei
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    boisei's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/16116
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/70267

    Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    http://www.usenet.com

  3. Amazing you not only survived an incredible feat of human endurance but
    also managed to party on,hats off.:eek:

    --
    dangerdog

    once I was young and stupid....that was some time ago
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    dangerdog's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/16398
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/70267

    Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    http://www.usenet.com

  4. Amazing trip and great writeup! Thanks.

    --
    steveyo

    steveyo
    ...like having your own personal rollercoaster...

    - a few 'uni race write-ups'
    (http://home.nycap.rr.com/rduhan/uni_race_writeups/)
    - muni and kokopelli uni 't-shirts, mugs and stickers'
    (http://www.cafepress.com/steveyo)
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    steveyo's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/7228
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/70267

    Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    http://www.usenet.com

  5. 1) You're insane.
    2) Thanks for vicariously taking the rest of us along on the wild ride.
    Excellent, excellent writeup and great photos!

    Hands down, one of the most risky, ballsy and downright ridiculous
    unicycle adventures I've ever had the pleasure of reading. I would
    expect nothing less from a unicycling broadway trombonist.
    Particularly enjoyed the descriptions of people pleading with you not
    to ride to your death.

    Hats off to you, sir!

    --
    entropy

    Shut up and ride.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    entropy's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/5816
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/70267

    Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    http://www.usenet.com

Active in the last 60 minutes

Active in this thread

0 users · 0 guests ·0 bots ·0 total

No signed-in users are active right now.

No known search crawlers active right now.