This morning, while unicycling along my regular commute, I was pulled over
by a cop for riding on the sidewalk. I avoided the summons, but only
because I have a loud voice and I'm not afraid to use it.
I was riding on the sidewalk that abuts a highway-like stretch of road.
It's far too dangerous to ride on the street there -- it's filled with
three lanes of fast, crowded traffic. If I were a bicyclist, I'd be
entitled to a lane of traffic, but I have never seen a biker on that
street, either, because it would be suicide to ride there. This sidewalk,
on the other hand, is almost never trafficked because it's in a
non-residential part of Brooklyn. In two years, I think I've seen two
people walking this sidewalk, total.
This short stretch of sidewalk is downhill and I was riding fast, so when
the cop asked me to pull over, I yelled that I would as soon as I could.
About 50 feet later, I hopped off and turned to find out what he wanted,
tho I already suspected he was going to give me a hard time about riding
on the sidewalk. This was odd because there are already two cops regularly
stationed in the same spot (on account of the "terrorism threat"😉 whom I
wave to every morning; they never give me a hard time -- just a smile and
a nod. So this was some cop who has never been there before, and he was
presumably acting on his own. He asked me to produce some ID, and I asked
why. He explained that I wasn't supposed to be riding on the sidewalk, and
I retorted that there is no law that specifies anything about unicycling
-- and I mentioned how unicyclists have, in the recent past, gotten out of
summonses before by showing the judge the appropriate passage from the
law. I asked him (loudly) if he has had a lot of experience with unicycles
-- like did he know that it's impossible to stop right away, or that
unicycles are not covered (in NYC) by laws that only mentioned vehicles
with two or more wheels.
Joe, I need the exact passage so I can keep it with me for next time.
Anyway, he wasn't satisfied, so he asked again for my ID, and I handed it
to him. At this point, he told me he was going to write me a summons. I
loudly mentioned (to him and all the cops around him) that it would look
real silly on the news when I explained to reporters that I was being
given a summons for unicycling on the sidewalk and that this cop would
rather I take up a whole lane of morning traffic (blah blah blah). I also
mentioned how silly it would look on his record that he had pulled over
someone for riding a unicycle on the sidewalk.
He stepped away, and I took the opportunity to seek out that officer whom
I see on a regular basis. I explained the situation to him, and he seemed
pained to side with either of us (he didn't know the exact law, but he
clearly felt that I was posing no danger).
Then the summons officer showed up again. He said that he was NOT going to
write up a summons after all (a change of heart? No, I think someone told
him not to bother). Not satisfied, I asked him if he will be there
tomorrow and the next day, and he said yes. I said, "And I'm not going to
get a summons tomorrow, am I?" and he said no.
But Joe, I still need that law -- just to be safe.
The meek might be inheriting the earth, but the loud avoid summonses (when
they're within the law, anyway!).
David Stone
PS: Fun fact: Someone was being arrested while all of this was going on. I
think it was for driving a truck without a proper license. I think the
Terror Alert Level has abeen upgraded to "Mauve" or something.