Professional Cycling · Public discussion

Now THAT'S funny....

Started by nns1400 · · Last activity · 4 posts · 1,219 views

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Professional Cycling
Published
19 August 2006
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20 August 2006
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nns1400
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  1. [font=Arial]I "borrowed" this from someone on use.net, since I'm not.[/font]

    [font=Arial]Hamilton Fails Blood Test Again[/font]

    [font=Arial](August 19, 2006) The 7.6-mile Mount Washington Auto Road Bicycle Hillclimb has been rocked this morning by news that Tyler Hamilton (formerly Phonak and now unattached), has returned two positive blood tests that showed evidence of a homologous blood transfusion. One test was performed two weeks ago at Floyd Landis' house in Murrieta, California and another at the 7-11 near Broadway and Canyon Boulevard in Boulder, Colorado on August 13th. Both tests showed evidence of a "mixed red blood cell population, an indication of a homologous blood transfusion," Hamilton's press officer Haven Hamilton was quoted by AP as saying. The results of the counter-analyses are not yet known, but are expected by Tuesday. "Still," she concluded, "I'll always love him -- even though I'll always love drugs more." [/font]
    [font=Arial]Hamilton, winner of the gold medal at the Athens 2004 Olympics while on rocket fuel, has denied having a transfusion, saying the positive test was the result of a surgical intervention he had some time ago, or because of a vanishing twin, or because of association with Floyd Landis, or because of some drug deal in Spain. If the B samples are confirmed positive, then he risks losing his Mount Washington ribbon valued at $2.54, which would make Ned Overend the 2006 Mount Washington Auto Road Bicycle Hillclimb champion.[/font]

    [font=Arial]Tyler's team director Haven Hamilton said, "I have spoken to Tyler and he has claimed he is innocent and apart from whatever our dogs decide, he will do whatever he has to do to defend himself from these accusations." Haven and the dogs will hold a press conference later this evening. [/font]

    [font=Arial]Enhancing endurance performance via blood transfusion is nothing new, and the practice has been around for at least 30 years. Tyler still has not admitted to using it at the Athens 2004 Olympics, when it was illegal. Typically, a quantity of blood is withdrawn from an athlete some time before an important competition, and when the time comes, the red cells are re-injected to provide an extra boost. This can also be done with another person's blood and even with EPO-enhanced blood, although the risk of detection is far greater. Former Phonak cyclist Floyd Landis claimed that he nearly died when he was re-injected with "a bad batch of Phonak racing blood" during reconnaissance rides before the 2006 Tour de France.[/font]

    [font=Arial]This is Tyler Hamilton's second time testing positive for a blood transfusion. A powerful doping test was implemented at this year's Tour de France. The test didn't look for a particular banned substance, but instead examined whether there were any abnormalities as a result of artificial manipulation. At the Tour, as everyone already knows, Floyd Landis was caught with his pants around his ankles and has been living a life of shame after betraying everyone who believed in him.[/font] [font=Arial]USA Cycling announced today, after hearing the news about Tyler Hamilton, that it will launch a full-scale investigation in the wake of allegations of drug use by the newsgroup that calls itself rec.bicycles.racing (RBR). We have reason to suspect that as many as 18 million RBR members are artificially increasing their ability to sit through the news about professional cyclists with illegal substances, particularly marijuana, RBR president Tom Kunich said. These drugs enable RBR members to watch cycling coverage beyond the limits of normal human endurance. Interest-boosting doping, Kunich said, is particularly rampant among viewers of UCI Pro Tour events."[/font]
    [font=Arial][/font]
    [font=Arial]Link: webpages.charter.netTyler Does It Again.htm[/font]

  2. nns1400 said:

    [font=Arial]Hamilton's press officer Haven Hamilton was quoted by AP as saying. The results of the counter-analyses are not yet known, but are expected by Tuesday. "Still," she concluded, "I'll always love him -- even though I'll always love drugs more." [/font]

    LOL - Tugboat is turning over in his grave.

  3. not funny...

  4. bobke said:

    not funny...


    Oh, booo bobke. No sense of humor tonight?

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