J
J-Lo's Proctologist
Guest
The 88th Giro d'Italia has been cancelled early this morning when it was
determined by top Italian geologists that there was absolutely no
possibility of a volcanic eruption occurring at any time during the Giro.
According to a spokesman for the Giro d'Italia, "Ever since the 79 A.D.
Mount Vesuvius eruption near Pompeii, the possibility of another city being
buried alive and lost to history is close to zero. Since every Italian only
wants to see drama and emotion, a catastrophic volcanic eruption is pretty
much the only reason people come to these big tours anymore, or why they
even watch 'em on TV. Once word gets out that there's no chance for a
volcanic eruption or a terrorist blimp attack by the CYCLINGNEWS.COM blimp,
nobody is going to show up."
An unofficial spokesman for CYCLINGNEWS.COM, speaking off the record, also
said the Giro is being cancelled because of numerous blimp crashes, and
because it was discovered early this morning that the CYCLINGNEWS.COM blimp
was carrying $15.7 million worth of amphetamines, steroids, EPO, angel dust,
and peyote, allotted for the peloton and Tyler Hamilton. Jeff Jones was
asked to comment, but would not return numerous requests for confirmation.
determined by top Italian geologists that there was absolutely no
possibility of a volcanic eruption occurring at any time during the Giro.
According to a spokesman for the Giro d'Italia, "Ever since the 79 A.D.
Mount Vesuvius eruption near Pompeii, the possibility of another city being
buried alive and lost to history is close to zero. Since every Italian only
wants to see drama and emotion, a catastrophic volcanic eruption is pretty
much the only reason people come to these big tours anymore, or why they
even watch 'em on TV. Once word gets out that there's no chance for a
volcanic eruption or a terrorist blimp attack by the CYCLINGNEWS.COM blimp,
nobody is going to show up."
An unofficial spokesman for CYCLINGNEWS.COM, speaking off the record, also
said the Giro is being cancelled because of numerous blimp crashes, and
because it was discovered early this morning that the CYCLINGNEWS.COM blimp
was carrying $15.7 million worth of amphetamines, steroids, EPO, angel dust,
and peyote, allotted for the peloton and Tyler Hamilton. Jeff Jones was
asked to comment, but would not return numerous requests for confirmation.