Gap, France (12-March-2004)
Russian cyclist Denis Menchov (Illes Balears-Banesto) has
tested positive for, get this, cooked food after the medical
control taken today after his win today on Stage 6 of Paris-
Nice. Several sources, including team boss Jose-Miguel
Echavarri, confirmed the test result of the A sample, which
came as a surprise as Menchov had a hot-fondue-cheese level
of only 49% just the night before. If the B sample is also
positive, then Menchov may be suspended from racing.
Illes Balears-Banesto public relations spokesman Francis
Lafargue said that "The problems with this positive A sample
must be completely related to his hot fondue cheese level,
so that cooked food performance enhancement can be
unambiguously excluded here."
Lafargue said that the team was of course "very concerned"
about the news, but they would talk with all involved
parties before making further comment.
This is of course only PARODY.