[font=Times New Roman]1.) It is ok for a Man to cry under the following circumstances: When a heroic dog dies to save its master; the moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse; after wrecking your boss' car; 1 hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game"; when she is using her teeth.[/font]
[font=Times New Roman]2.) Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]3.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman] 4.) If you've known a Man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]5.) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]6.) No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another [/font]Man. [font=Times New Roman]In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]7.) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]8.) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]9.) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]10.) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another Man in the nuts. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]11.) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]12.) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]13.) If a Man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]14.) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]15.) A Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]16.) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]17.) If you compliment a Man on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]18.) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Man while lifting weights: Yeah, Baby, Push it! - C'mon, give me one more! Harder! - Another set and we can hit the showers! [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]20.) Never talk to a Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]21.) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]22.) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]23.) There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Mens Gymnastics. Ever. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]24.) When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]25.) You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call '[censored]'. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent) [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]26.) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]27.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]28.) Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]29.) The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]30.) A Man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]31.) When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]32.) If a buddy is out-numbered, out-Manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. (Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.) [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]33.) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]34.) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]35.) When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]36.) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "[censored] OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility. [/font]