Jeff Jones is "super motivated"
"I'm super motivated," said Jones in a hastily concocted and poorly
written press release. "In this modern era of specialisation, there is
only one race that counts, and that's this one. Forget the Vuelta, the
Journo World's can make or break your career, and I know everyone is
keen for it.
"I've seen the course profile and I noted that it's a downhill finish.
Normally that wouldn't suit me, but I've been trying to pack on the
kilos in order to improve my weight to frontal area ratio.
Power-to-weight is old school thinking. I mean, it doesn't take
Einstein to figure out that the more you weigh, the faster you go. Or
is it the other way round?
"I've modified my diet to include even more beer, chocolate, and ice
cream, and I've also discovered how easy it is to eat a pack of
Pringles in a single sitting. I'll be riding a special bike that's
several kilos heavier than anything you'll see in the Tour de France.
I'm even considering carrying a bidon full of lead shot, like they did
in the old days."
Jones added that in the last eight months he has been using involuntary
sleep deprivation to prepare himself mentally for the rigors of the 60
km race. He even toyed with the idea of taking up chain smoking, but
balked at the cost. "Physically my condition is fine," he said. "I'm
probably at 60 percent of my best shape now. I'm figuring on a 30-40
percent form improvement in the first few laps of the race, and
hopefully I'll be able to hold that until the end. I don't want to peak
too soon."
If the race comes down to a sprint, Jones will rely on his legendary
finishing speed to try to secure fourth place. In June this year, he
somehow finished third in a two man sprint, and is regularly beaten by
pros in training. "I figure that's gotta be worth some virtual UCI
points too, and thus a virtual bonus at the end of the season," he
added.