HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's
it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live
longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your
car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so
you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is
one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is ! two to one,
etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO .. Cocoa beans . another vegetable!!! It's
the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had a bout food and diets and remember,
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand -
strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally
worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"