Happy Landings

In article <[email hidden]>,

Quoted message said:

_Texas Air Control Tower_

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land
eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on
infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised !!"

Dallas ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land
westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's
runway 9R. - Allah is Great !!"

Pause: Static.............

Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!"

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY
GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!!
INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!

Dallas ATC: Well bless your hearts! Y'all be careful now and tell
Allah "hey" for us -- ya hear?

Dumbass: you're just making [censored] up now. Any ATC would know that landing
_directions_ are not described.

A runway designated 9R would be running dead E-W, and is the rightmost
of two parallel runways. 9R designates the east end of the runway;
landings that touch the other end of the same piece of tarmac would be
on 27L.

In your example, assuming the Saudi plane was cleared for an east_bound_
approach, the landing clearance would be for 27L.

The Iran plane would be cleared for 9R, and the planes would indeed be
on a collision course.

Please edit the joke and resubmit.

Brandy last night,

--
Ryan Cousineau [email hidden] http://www.wiredcola.com/
"I don't want kids who are thinking about going into mathematics
to think that they have to take drugs to succeed." -Paul Erdos

In article
<[email hidden]>,

Ryan Cousineau said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Quoted message said:

_Texas Air Control Tower_

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land
eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on
infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised !!"

Dallas ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land
westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's
runway 9R. - Allah is Great !!"

Pause: Static.............

Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!"

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY
GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!!
INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!

Dallas ATC: Well bless your hearts! Y'all be careful now and tell
Allah "hey" for us -- ya hear?

Dumbass: you're just making [censored] up now. Any ATC would know that landing
_directions_ are not described.

A runway designated 9R would be running dead E-W, and is the rightmost
of two parallel runways. 9R designates the east end of the runway;
landings that touch the other end of the same piece of tarmac would be
on 27L.

In your example, assuming the Saudi plane was cleared for an east_bound_
approach, the landing clearance would be for 27L.

The Iran plane would be cleared for 9R, and the planes would indeed be
on a collision course.

Please edit the joke and resubmit.

Brandy last night,

Of course this could never happen. Saudi airplanes always
face Mecca when landing.

--
Michael Press

Michael Press said:

Of course this could never happen. Saudi airplanes always
face Mecca when landing.

Saudi Arabian pilots don't always practice landings.