Tailwind Sports--For Immediate Release to All Pro-Lance Media Outlets
Kristin Armstrong, the ex-wife of Lance is expected to lie her ass off on
Tuesday about the breakup of her marriage to the Uniballer. Until now,
Kristin has been the worlds best mother, enjoying a good working parenting
relationship with Lance who spends less and less time with his children, for
whom he changed training plans and ultimately gave up professional bicycle
racing.
The following is official statement of Lance which he has authorized
Tailwind to release:
"My lawyers are preparing to serve her with papers commencing a defamation
action the moment the Oprah show airs on Tuesday. Kristin has, in the end,
turned out to be just like that [censored] Emma, lying her ass off in a pitiful
attempt to shake me down for more hush money like Anderson did. Well, screw
her. I have lots of money, lawyers and time. Oh yeah, I'll also be seeking
custody of the three kids. I've already hired a full time nanny and
selected boarding schools in Switzerland for all of them. See y'all in
court."
Media questions should be addressed to Steve Johnson at USACycling. We
request advanced copies of all media related to this event in order to have
them reviewed by counsel.