The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement
has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
European communications, rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of negotiations, her Majesty Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and
has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as
EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also,
the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear
up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make
words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
languag is disgraful, and they would go.
By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar
changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.