This was in the Joplin, Missouri, Globe Wednesday--thought it was
pretty good . . .
http://www.joplinglobe.com/healthandfamily/local_story_143193045.html
Dear gas companies,
I'd like to thank you for raising gas prices so high that I'm forced
to take my bike down from its lofty resting place on the garage
ceiling, take her to the bike shop and make sure she's road-worthy
again.
You've inspired me to take advantage of the opportunity to get into
better shape by riding my bike to work and to make my child walk to
his job. This will no doubt save on gasoline and wear and tear on that
thing with wheels that gets me around.
All of this nice weather lately has been perfect for bike riding. It's
always great to jump on the bike and leave your troubles behind for a
while. A time to clear your head, set goals, pray, meditate or
whatever one does while on the open road without a soul in sight.
After being such an avid long-distance cyclist for the past few years,
I'm ashamed to say that I haven't been on my bike once this season.
However, thanks to you and those geniuses who make all the decisions
in your company, that's all about to change. It only takes about 20
minutes to ride to work, and it's only 11 miles round trip. If it
weren't for your soaring gas prices at $3.30 a gallon, I'd be stuck
driving my car, burning fewer calories and watching my muscles soften.
This will also allow me to work on my traffic-dodging skills.
I really don't need your product to help me buy my groceries either.
Ordering pizzas and shopping online is an amazing - not to mention
convenient - discovery and those delivery trucks can drop off my items
on their way to the next customer.
I see more bikes in your future, so you may want to caution your
drivers to watch out for them when they deliver your overpriced
gasoline to the local stations.
I'd also like to thank you for helping us decide against driving out
to the West Coast for our family vacation this year. You've actually
given us such a great opportunity to limit our travel to within our
state, and we're looking forward to seeing parts of our region we've
never seen and doing things we've never done before, using minimal
tanks of gas in the process.
And now, I'd like to take this opportunity to do something for you.
You know, in return for your kindness and generosity. I'd like to let
you know in advance about some things you might want to expect.
In addition to more bicycles on the roads, you're likely to see more
bike racks at local businesses. I sincerely hope those won't get in
the way of your fuel truck deliveries. You'll probably see more
employers providing employee bicycle parking or storage, and the sale
of motor scooters will likely triple.
The electric Smart Cars will look really nice in our area, and they'll
save on parking space. They're all over Paris, and you know what you
don't see many of in Paris? Gas stations!
Apparently you like your gas so much that you want to keep it, and
that's fine. We're already working on learning to live without it.
I'd be remiss if I didn't take time before closing this letter to
thank you for challenging the American public and for pushing
organizations to exercise their resourcefulness in finding alternative
transportation. You may have unwittingly found the cure to overweight
Americans, heart disease, diabetes and other illnesses associated with
poor exercise. You should be commended. And, when very few people are
buying your gas, you should hold your collective heads up high in
pride and say to yourself, "We did that all by ourselves."
Sincerely,
Stephanie Davis Goad