"Calling It Quits" Definitely Calling It Quits

The act of calling it quits, has decided to, itself, totally call it quits,
today." "Yup," said a spokesman for the Association Of Calling It Quits
Professionals, "'calling it quits' is definitely calling it quits." But
despite how like nobody seems to have quite noticed, the ramifications of
"calling it quits" actually calling it quits appear to apparently be quite
far-reaching and creepy. "As a result of 'calling it quits' calling it
quits," said MIT president, Crit Pro, "no one and nothing will ever be able
to call it quits again. Therefore, everyone and everything will just have
to go on and on and on -- forever! No bailing out. No death. No suicide.
The game NEVER ENDS!" Following the announcement, many people apparently
became so fearful at the prospect of living forever, that they all suddenly
just dropped dead.