Bush seeks conservative to replace Lance ;)

Bob Dole said:

http://www.borowitzreport.com/
(current on July 27, 2005 -- after that in archives)

WHITE HOUSE SEEKS CONSERVATIVE TO REPLACE LANCE ARMSTRONG Could Shift
U.S. Cycling to the Right, Democrats Fear Moments after seven-time Tour
de France champion Lance Armstrong announced that he was retiring from
competitive cycling, the White House served notice that it intended to
replace Mr. Armstrong with a cyclist who shares President Bush's
conservative political views.

While Mr. Armstrong has never officially identified himself as a
Democrat, the fact that he was cheered on in his seventh Tour victory
by 2004 Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass) was
not lost on President Bush, who immediately urged aides to find a
conservative cyclist to replace him. [etc.]

I thought that Lance was a Republican. Didn't stop me from being glued
to OLN.

Well, Kerry does ride a Serotta (as does Tom Ridge). I'd like to know
just how he got to ride in a team car on the last stage. After all, he
did come in second...

Eric

"dgk" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

While Mr. Armstrong has never officially identified himself as a
Democrat, the fact that he was cheered on in his seventh Tour victory
by 2004 Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass) was
not lost on President Bush,

President Bush, like most thinking observers of Kerry's ride in the follow
car, realize that Kerry will do nearly anything to make himself appear
relevant, and a follow car in the TdF was the most likely place for the
likes of him to get noticed during that particular week.

Besides, Kerry does look a little bit French.

In article <[email hidden]>,

dgk said:

I thought that Lance was a Republican. Didn't stop me from being glued
to OLN.

He seems to be pretty open minded, by Texas standards at least.