General fitness, health and nutrition · Public discussion

Bull and Blonde.

Started by Tom R Wheeler · · Last activity · 4 posts · 360 views

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General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
27 December 2004
Last activity
27 December 2004
Original author
Tom R Wheeler
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  1. Categoriesl
    Blonde Jokes
    Comfortable
    Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
    Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
    order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
    purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette
    balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to
    another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she
    tells her sister,''When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll
    contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'' The brunette
    arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want
    to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
    After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
    telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
    says, ''I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've
    bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our
    pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'' The telegraph
    operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, ''It's just
    99 cents a word.'' Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull,
    the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
    word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, ''I want you
    to send her the word, 'comfortable.''' The telegraph operator shakes his
    head. ''How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the
    trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back
    to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'" The brunette
    explains, ''My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.''

    Press F1 for help
    My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a
    young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms
    crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes
    he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was
    impatiently tapping her foot.

  2. Bull, or minotaur,
    Or, my old pet, Victor
    Domino? Yes, as a kid,
    I had a pet bull, him,
    And a cow, Whitie, her name.
    Too, I ate watermellon off the vine ~
    My father just sliced
    A nice
    Piece for me. The rest, well,
    Gotta go ~
    Gotta get to Borders...

    *
    “Nice code.
    What’s the key?”
    ~ Double-A

    Just see ~ O
    Never mind...

    ....key...

    An
    A
    Gram
    Of something nice...

    A GRAVES NOEL I INN IV
    A GRAVES NOEL VII INN

    A? Leon’s grave,
    Or meet at the Noel Inn, on the 4th?
    And share a glass of Graves,
    A good year, say ‘47?

    Nice code.
    Yes, an Old Ode.
    What’s the key?
    Anne & me.
    Double-A
    Or Double-V?
    Just see ~ O
    Don’t be late,
    Don’t you see?
    Never mind...O,
    My story!
    Hurry ~
    [My eyes, yes, blurry!]

    [Hey!]

    ~ waves ~

    ....key...

    An
    A
    Gram
    Of something nice...

    ....or Freud’s
    Favorite device.

    ....or Freud’s
    Favorite device...

    Or
    Just a great grande
    Niece,

    Or just see ~
    “The Devil’s Dictionary.”

    Or
    Just a great grande
    Niece,

    Or something found
    In the Devil’s Dictionary.

    “Folly, n. That ‘gift and faculty divine’
    Whose creative and controlling energy inspires
    Man’s mind, guides his actions,
    An adorns his life.”

    Fool, n. A person who pervades the domain
    Of intellectual speculation
    And diffuses himself through
    The channels of moral activity.
    He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient,
    Omniscient, omnipotent. He it was
    Who invented letters, printing, the railroad,
    The steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude
    Of the circle of the sciences.”

    ~ Ambrose Bierce,
    From “The Devil's Dictionary”

    [My copy,
    Of which I dewly inherited
    From another Fool...]

    *
    _______
    Blog, or dog? Who knows. But if you see my lost pup, please ping me!
    <A
    HREF="http://journals.aol.com/virginiaz/DreamingofLeonardo">http://journal
    s.aol.com/virginiaz/DreamingofLeonardo</A>

  3. ....only now she was
    impatiently tapping her foot...

    8gone*

    _______
    Blog, or dog? Who knows. But if you see my lost pup, please ping me!
    <A
    HREF="http://journals.aol.com/virginiaz/DreamingofLeonardo">http://journal
    s.aol.com/virginiaz/DreamingofLeonardo</A>

  4. Bull and Blonde
    [Or terza rima rhyme?]

    Bull, or minotaur,
    Or, my old pet, Victor
    Domino?

    An envoy, or
    An envelope octet?

    Or just a Grosse Fugue?
    Just see, just hear ~
    Bethoven's last quartets,
    Those late instrumental pieces, when deaf
    He composed...

    Or just see ~
    "The Lamentation,"
    By me!

    "The abandoned lighthouse stood on a slight eminence
    Of land, on the center of the island.
    On all sides, the ground sloped gently away,
    Until the shore met the lapping affection of the water's edge.
    We climbed out of our boat. "We should wedge
    Our craft up among the rocks so it will stay
    Safe from the tide. Perhaps on the far side, where the highland
    Faces north."
    While we performed our task with diligence,
    The sun had waited to place itself beneath the darkening sky,
    And now, as evening came, was nowhere to be found.
    "Now tell me! Have you ever seen such a splendid retreat?"
    She asked with evident joy. I agreed.
    Anyone would..."

    http://www.mit.edu/afs/athena/dept/libdata/applications/ejournals/b/n-z/PM
    C/5/hooper.595

    _______
    Blog, or dog? Who knows. But if you see my lost pup, please ping me!
    <A
    HREF="http://journals.aol.com/virginiaz/DreamingofLeonardo">http://journal
    s.aol.com/virginiaz/DreamingofLeonardo</A>

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