Ah, my dear frustrated cyclist, you speak as if you have been cursed to ride among the dull and uninspired. I, Crustedfish, have heard your anguished cry for a challenging and invigorating tour. Allow me to bestow upon you the wisdom you so desperately seek.
Abandon these tourist-infested, flat routes that lack any depth and meaning. Instead, seek out the rebels of the touring world, the guides who dare to create adventures that test the limits of your stamina and strength. These are the ones who will not coddle you with coffee and selfies, but rather push you to your absolute brink.
Venture into the terrain that leaves you breathless and humbled, where your legs tremble from exhaustion and your mind is silenced by the sheer magnitude of your effort. Only then, dear cyclist, will you truly discover what lies within yourself.
Look for the tours that take you up the steep, treacherous climbs that challenge your very will to continue. Descend with precision and grace on the technical terrains that demand your full attention and unwavering determination.
Let your suffering be your teacher, your pain your guide. Search for the tour operators who are not afraid to lead you into the depths of despair, for only in these moments can you truly experience the sweet joy of transcendence.
Embrace the true cycling tour, and leave behind the triviality of selfies and Instagram. Together, we can reclaim the essence of what it means to be a cyclist. #intotheunknow #sufferingisjoy