How do you deal with peer-pressure?

sooray02 · May 16, 2005

Here is my problem, peer-pressure.

I'm a student and I've been living here in the U.S. for last 5 years, since high school and most of my college life. Considering that I don’t have my family here, my friends became my family. They mean more than just friends; they are my family. However, I fell in love with cycling last year and this year I started racing seriously. Now I came to have problems with my friends that they don’t understand why I don’t drink like I used to and spend time with them and etc… But, I do try keep the relationship between my friends and I try my best to be around them: since they go out at midnight, at the earliest, it’s pretty tough.

None of my friends are cyclist and now people started to notice who I am in the city. I believe that this summer is the best chance to get better at sport and prove myself who I am, and what I can become. But I still don’t know how to deal with friends. I’d like to go out and have fun but not like they do. And when I do go out, I always end up going to bed at 2 or 3 A.M. and it just kills me next day.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

TKOS · May 17, 2005

Sounds tough. I have had lots of friends who liked to party hard all the time. I joined them when I could (it wasn't cycling but just lack of desire that kept me out of the bars every night) and had a great time but when I wasn't able to they managed without me. Now a few years later everyone has jobs and has to get to bed early and the partying and drinkign are mostly a memory excpet on special occasions.

It is hard when you are young to think about how things will change the older you get but they will for you and for your friends.

I for one say stick with the cycling and if they are true friends they will understand taht yuo love it even if they don't. If they don't understand and dump you then they aren't the greatest of friends.

Also think about how many peopel that also love cycling and racing you will meet this summer and probably hang out with a bit.

The people we know and love can come and go from our lives but staying true to your self is the best thing you can do.

Well now that sounds all lovey dovey and sappy doesn't it. Yikes on me for letting the emotional side show.

el Ingles · May 17, 2005

sooray02 said:
Here is my problem, peer-pressure.

I'm a student and I've been living here in the U.S. for last 5 years, since high school and most of my college life. Considering that I don’t have my family here, my friends became my family. They mean more than just friends; they are my family. However, I fell in love with cycling last year and this year I started racing seriously. Now I came to have problems with my friends that they don’t understand why I don’t drink like I used to and spend time with them and etc… But, I do try keep the relationship between my friends and I try my best to be around them: since they go out at midnight, at the earliest, it’s pretty tough.

None of my friends are cyclist and now people started to notice who I am in the city. I believe that this summer is the best chance to get better at sport and prove myself who I am, and what I can become. But I still don’t know how to deal with friends. I’d like to go out and have fun but not like they do. And when I do go out, I always end up going to bed at 2 or 3 A.M. and it just kills me next day.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

Try and maintain a balance between what you want for yourself and what your friends want from you - if it áin´t give and take then find some other friends .
ps is it the hours or the alcohol that´s the problem ?

rule62 · May 17, 2005

As with a lot of things, Shakespeare said it best.

"This above all, to thine own self be true."

el Ingles · May 20, 2005

el Inglés said:
Try and maintain a balance between what you want for yourself and what your friends want from you - if it áin´t give and take then find some other friends .
ps is it the hours or the alcohol that´s the problem ?

On reflection it seems that you may be trying to run with a crowd that´s just to " fast " for you : could be you need to slow down and be with people who are more like the person your becoming - the only women that you´ll meet with your current friends that will be worth knowing will be the ones working as waitresses or behind the bar not the adrenelin junkies out partying till dawn , fun yes but if that´s not your bag ..........

Chance3290 · May 20, 2005

"I believe that this summer is the best chance to get better at sport and prove myself who I am, and what I can become."

Tell that to your friends. Ask them to support you. Tell them you want their support. I hope they will help you and understand why don't close down the bars with them. If they don't understand, you have to decide where you want to go. Go for your dream or party. By the way, when people say things like: "You're only young once, come on, let's party." I'm 46 and I can still party, even at this old age. But I can't race like I was young. Race now. You can party later.

p.s. you should also mention to your friends that the women who show up to race where spandex and they look hot.
I'd leave my girlfriend in a minute to be with Dotsie Cowden.

LottomagicZ4941 · May 20, 2005

Your probably better off with Biker friends then drinker friends.

Some of my hard core drinker friends are already dead.

Two died on the day they turned 21.

sooray02 · May 20, 2005

Thanks for everything. I do think that I'm going to stick with it and I guess my 'real-friends' will support me, no matter what.

Now I'm getting used to saying 'no', but it's still kinda hard. But, thank God, I'll be out of town to race this whole weekend and I'm pumped.

Thanks again

Soo-re

sooray02 · May 20, 2005

el Inglés said:
On reflection it seems that you may be trying to run with a crowd that´s just to " fast " for you : could be you need to slow down and be with people who are more like the person your becoming - the only women that you´ll meet with your current friends that will be worth knowing will be the ones working as waitresses or behind the bar not the adrenelin junkies out partying till dawn , fun yes but if that´s not your bag ..........

Funny that you mentioned. Lots of my friends are servers at the restaurants and, some of’em are bartenders. Yes, they still do go out about 5 nights a week.

I picked up many drunk asses in many occasions.

During the off-season, especially Christmas break, I went out with them almost every night, which was fun, but really hard on my body. All the girls that I met from my friends are fun to be around just because they do stupid things and it’s really fun to watch.

LottomagicZ4941 · May 21, 2005

"real-friends"

One real friend is better then 10 fair weather friends

Quality over quantity

I think Abe Lincon once said that one only has time for five close friends.

Perhaps that is all he had time.

And perhpas one of your old drinking buddies would like to try biking?

Doctor Morbius · May 21, 2005

sooray02 said:
Here is my problem, peer-pressure.

I'm a student and I've been living here in the U.S. for last 5 years, since high school and most of my college life. Considering that I don’t have my family here, my friends became my family. They mean more than just friends; they are my family. However, I fell in love with cycling last year and this year I started racing seriously. Now I came to have problems with my friends that they don’t understand why I don’t drink like I used to and spend time with them and etc… But, I do try keep the relationship between my friends and I try my best to be around them: since they go out at midnight, at the earliest, it’s pretty tough.

None of my friends are cyclist and now people started to notice who I am in the city. I believe that this summer is the best chance to get better at sport and prove myself who I am, and what I can become. But I still don’t know how to deal with friends. I’d like to go out and have fun but not like they do. And when I do go out, I always end up going to bed at 2 or 3 A.M. and it just kills me next day.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

Honestly, it just sounds like you're growing up a little earlier than your friends.

I'm not trying to knock them or anything but how many of them have something that is important to them enough to make the sacrifices you are making? They'll all find other interests too, whether it's work, a girlfriend or getting married and having a family. It happens to everybody in time.

Do you know how many of those college friends you're going to be hanging around with in 5 years? Cycling will always be there for you, provided you keep your passion for it.

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